For a time Christianity felt unapproachable. I had been taught about all the goodness and feelings one should feel through Christ, but for some reason I didn’t have that. I wasn’t feeling the peace, the relief, or the confidence. So was I even a Christian?

I would spend night after night praying, crying out to God and feeling like my prayers were bouncing right off my bedroom ceiling. So in avoidance of my struggles, I filled my time and mind with hobbies I thought were healthy, people I thought were good, and relationships I thought would make me feel better. But during all of that, I felt even more alone and isolated. I knew I was filling my time with things that weren’t ever going to truly satisfy.

Amid my struggles, my parents decided that a change of scenery would be beneficial. I transferred schools in the 2022 school year to Whitefield Academy. Immediately on coming to the school, I noticed a difference. I met so many God-loving teachers and so many students who had a genuine desire for Christ.

I noticed that it wasn’t just seasoned, veteran, adult Christians, but kids my age, navigating faith and doing it together. And as crazy as it sounds, I know that was only a God thing. He showed himself to me through the people he was allowing to love me. These kids showed me that no matter what you do or how you feel, it’s about your active pursuit of Christ. You will always be imperfect, and you will always have struggles.

I realized that I needed to be willing to give up my fleshly desires and passions, that no matter what I try to do for myself, there was someone who already died for me. He died for me so that I can be forgiven of my sins, and when I stumble and sin, rather than experience judgment, I fall into his love and grace again. The reason I can stand here today is because of the work he has done and is still doing in me. I won’t ever be perfect, but I know that I will spend every day for the rest of my life living for him.

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