For so long, I have lived my life searching for fulfillment in my accomplishments, possessions and even relationships. Putting those before Christ. I have also experienced some trauma which has led to me living an anxious life. I noticed it hardened my heart and made me worry more about how situations serve me first than considering how my actions could affect other people around me.

Over the years I have realized how always putting my own needs first has hurt and affected the people around me. This was also after the undoing of some relationships in my life that I came to terms with how no matter how many things I accumulated they were not going to fill the void I have felt for so long. Also, noticing how anxiety has become a stronghold in my life. Stealing the joy I once had.

Since attending Sojourn and serving in the short time that I have, I want to live my life for more than myself. To go above and beyond for other people without making things transactional to what I gain from it. To relinquish the “control” I have convinced myself I have over my life. Cultivating a relationship with Jesus where I start living my life according to his plan for me, to feel at peace with that. The hardened heart that I have had for so long has started to become soft over time. Daily I remind myself of Proverbs 3:3 “Let love and faithfulness never leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.”